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Asset Backed Cryptocurrency Warcoin Seeks to Ease Volatility Woes

A San Francisco startup has announced that it has created a new digital currency that will solve the pesky problem of bitcoin’s volatility. Dubbed warcoin, the digital currency will be backed by the military industrial complex—a stable and even growing industry that its creators argue provides real value to the cryptocurrency.

“We wanted to make a coin that utilized this fledgling blockchain technology but was unburdened by uncertainty in the economy. If there’s one industry that’s going strong, it’s the trade of arms to military insurgencies all around the world and the rebuilding of other countries torn apart by revolutions. I mean, we’re not going to stop aiding brown people any time soon, so why not?” exclaimed founder, investor, and former child star Thad Stab.

Warcoin would operate on the same blockchain technology as bitcoin, but as we’ve seen in the last few years, bitcoin’s volatility has some investors worried. A 10,000% increase in one year is dangerous not only to those concerned with stability, but also to those trying to keep the dollar fueled economy afloat.

With some countries eyeing currencies to use other than the petrodollar, global skepticism could spell bad news for the US, which relies on people using its currency to prop up a failing economy and hide the massive debt accrued from decades of borrowing for humanitarian causes.

Co-founder Sieve Farthings had some insights to add about warcoin’s philosophic potential:

“Warcoin seemed like the logical next step. We can’t have people rushing into new digital currencies that could rob them of what little wealth they have accumulated. There needs to be stability, and right now there are few things more stable than our military’s economic and physical grasp over noncompliant countries. Warcoin, like bitcoin, is about ideology too. Do you want to support a currency that may siphon funds from the greatest world power to have ever existed? One that could result in the deaths of thousands of innocents who were unable to get our assistance? We’re changing lives for people all around the world by bringing them a heaping helping of democracy in an explosive package. I think we all know the name for people who would wish to prevent us from saving these victims of tyranny—terrorists.”

Libertarians and anarchists have hailed cryptocurrencies as a way to hide their wealth and transactions from government agencies, but Farthings and others view these “fringe idealists” as damaging to the ethics and funding of humanitarian military actions.

It is rumored that Raytheon has quietly partnered with Stab and Farthings to provide more tangible assets to back warcoin despite their earlier support of bitcoin. You will also be able to exchange warcoin for US dollars at FinCEN compliant exchanges for a reasonable fee. Stab said he realizes that carrying cash is becoming a thing of the past.

“People want cool codes they can scan on their phones to send money and paper dollars are so 1900’s. Why not be able to turn dollars into digits you can transfer on your phone and have the stability associated with the globalization of altruistic military actions? Peace of mind can come from knowing your digital currency will always retain its value as long as the US is engaged in carrying out these special missions.”

Warcoin’s founders are also building relationships with banks like JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America, who are notorious for their efforts to bring transparency and efficiency to banking. Their charitable efforts to work with homeowners hit hard after the housing crisis are fresh in the minds of Americans and Stab and Farthing think the familiarity of the banks will give consumers comfort. By fusing banks with exchanges, people may feel more safe as reports of mismanaged cryptocurrency exchanges continue to surface.

“The experience and reputations of these banks make them a perfect fit for integrating currency exchange functions that can support warcoin. If we don’t get these major players involved in this exciting new technology, average people are going to be suspicious and it may never catch on. It doesn’t have to be that way.” Farthings reassured reporters.

Digitizing the dollar into a currency backed by the most robust part of the economy could be very lucrative for struggling banks, venture capitalists, and weapons manufacturers who were unjustly harmed after the financial crisis and scaling back of forces in Iraq and Afghanistan. With the recent transfer of 300 US advisors to Iraq, the perfect storm may be brewing for this festive new digital currency.

*Thanks to the Wall Street Journal for inspiring this piece.

Original content by Meghan, copyleft, tips welcome